Monday 29 January 2007

Tom Cruise is still not Gay....He's Devine!!


It's official - Tom Cruise is divine

The story goes that TOM Cruise has been named as the new “Christ” of Scientology, according to leaders of the pseudo-scientific religion. The leader of the Organisation, which is very definitely NOT a cult,(despite what the German Government might of decided), David Miscavige believes that in future, Cruise, 44, will be worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the religion.
It would be easy to either laugh out loud or cry in despair at this latest tale from the strange happenings of Planet L.A Galaxy , U.S.A (Unbelievably Stupid Actors) but let us do neither.


Lets us not judge Little Tom, for only those who wish to be judged themselves should judge others, rather let us all send him this prayer, which has been adapted from "a prayer to be more like Jesus" so as to be more fitting to the latest divine little so and so to walk among us mere mortals.
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PRAYER TO BECOME MORE LIKE JESUS…. The Tom Cruise Jesus!

L.Ron, our Father who is called Hubbard, You gave us Tom and have saved us and our thetans through him who is Christ, who is called Tom, Little Tom who is mighty, Oh Tommy, Tiny Tom, TommyTom . Through Him You have saved us from death, (which is like having no Oprah) and given us Your Divine life of grace ,(which is Oprah). By becoming more like TomJesus on earth, may I come to share His glory in Heaven, (which is not of this planet). Give me the peace of Your kingdom ( in Hollywood), which this world does not give (For Free).
By Your loving care, which is seen by the love you show to your wife, protect the good You have given me. Open my eyes to the wonders of Your Love, (which is not gay…at all …not even a little bit) that I may serve You with a willing heart (and open wallet)

Amen
..................................................................................
And let us not forget that he has already shown the world how he will use his awesome powers, when angered by disbelievers

Wednesday 17 January 2007

What are you doing right Now?

Armando Iannucci: Now



....And now that you've watched that, scroll down and see what other delights await you for your viewing pleasure, SO DO IT NOW!!!!

http://www.armandoiannucci.co.uk/
Cut and paste this link into your browser for a site dedicated to the legend that is Armando Iannucci

Spoof Bush Speech / Bush Speech Cock Ups / Behind the Bush-isms



This spoof version of G.W(anker).Bush's speech to congress is all to convincing!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSzQVGmhdUc

To view just copy and paste this link in to your browser

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Bush Speech Impediments

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Behind the Bush-isms.....
is a documentary piece explaining just why it is that G.W(anker).Bush cant talk in full sentences

Wierd Al Interviews Eminem

Eminem maybe well be a very gifted lyricist of the highest order, a birght and intelligent young man who has a perspective of the world which has been shaped by the truama and pain that this world has to offer the troubled young men and women of today.......but Wierld Al Yankovic sends the whining "my life is so awful" little tyke, up somthing rotten in this video. The message is quite simpley..Don't take yourself to seriously smartie boy!




you can also see Wired Al's Great Hiophop track "Too nerdy and white" if you scroll down these blogs

The Evolution of Dance

DON't think you can dance? ...this video will give you the history of modern western dance moves that even the most uncordinated of you out there will be able to copy and follow.

Insirpational Comidean Judson Laipply performs his evolution of dance routine






if the vid doesnt play copy this link in to your browser
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBRHetKH4MQ


Enjoy!!

The Flying Car




if the vid doesnt play copy this link in to your browser
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBRHetKH4MQ

ENJOY!!

Just TOO white and nerdy

A Brief History of America....

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=svenso777
(copy link into Browser)



A brilliant cartoon by the great M.Moore, in which he gives an account of America's History as built by scared little white men, who now still run the country are still scared and still just as pastyfaced.

"There is Nothing to Fear but Fear itself"

It is the source of all confusion, confusion that leads to panic, panic leads to terror, terror brings forth irrational and ill conceived ideas. It is here that you must then...
STOP.......
CALM YOUR BEING......
REMIND YOURSELF THAT ALL THINGS ARE AS THEY ARE , IT IS AS IT IS AND SO BE IT.....
AND SO WHAT....
YOU'LL BE DEAD ONE DAY AND NONE OF IT WILL MATTER......
UNLESS OF COURSE IT IS YOUR DEATH THAT YOU ARE FEARFULL OF.......
IN WHICH CASE YOU FEAR THAT WHICH YOU DONT KNOW.....
YOU KNOW NOTHING OF DEATH AND DONT PRETEND THAT YOU DO.....
NOW THINK AGAIN,
CHOOSE AGAIN AND THIS TIME WITH OUT THE FEAR

Tuesday 16 January 2007

Perry Groves Cashes in, "Cashly" Doesn't / Beckham takes a load


"We all live in a Perry Groves World"
Cashly Cole can't cash in

http://books.guardian.co.uk/departments/biography/story/0,,1972697,00.html
Click this link

As an Arsenal Fan and a football fan, Who had his introduction to the beautiful game and the world of the terraces in the era of George Graham's team, it was with great pleasure that i read this article in the Guardian Newspaper where Sam Wollaston meets Perry Groves. In the piece Sam Wollaston asks "How did a so-so player from the 80s find his new autobiography outselling Wayne Rooney's?" and more amusingly Cashly Cole's scrap book that he vomited up.


http://www.weloveperry.com/chants.shtml
A site dedicated to the legend that is Perry Groves














Benditson, but not Quite like Beckham

With all of the words that have been written about David "Goldenballs" Beckham and his highly lucrative move to L.A galaxy over this past week I don't really want to bother giving the sorry excuse of a footballer any more coverage, except to point out my favourite piece that I read. It was a small little piece included in the sunsports report on the MASSIVE wage salary that Peckham will be receiving.

It points out that while he will be earning about £3,000 an hour, his team mate Benjamin Benditson (nice irony) will be earning just £6,015 per year.

It also points out that Beckham will earn in one week, the same amount as Landon Donavon ,the highest payed player in the league , earns in a year.

So rumors that he went to America to further his career as an international image slag and reign with Victoria as king & Queen of the celebrity gimps, guided by their council of High Priest and Guru Mr Tom "i'm not in a Cupboard" Cruise and Princess Katie of Holmes, are all obviously false.
He didn't go to make money or make movies or to have sex with Miss Cruise because Mr Cruise doesnt want to, and thats not becuase Mr cruise doesn't like women much and would prefer to wrestle with his man friends instead.

Suggestions that some players are looking to kick seven shades of shit out of Beckham on the football pitch next year unless he pays for the sandwiches at half time are as yet unfounded and simply rummer.

Benjamin Benditson




David Beckham takes a load in the face
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Caption Competition

Send in your Captions for this picture of Peckham and Cashley looking like they wish everybody would just leave them in piece so they can relax and spend some quality time with each other.....







-"oooer, misses!"

Friday 12 January 2007

Camp Referee


Click this link to see the worlds campest ref
If only all referees where this charismatic............

A new national sport takes off....

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Rainbow in your endo












if u havn't got any balls, u can ask a friend, and use his.....

The cast of Rainbow made this rather naughty joke eposode after they finished the show....only 3mins and well worth a look if you feel like laughing.

Monday 8 January 2007

Politics,politricks,lollisticks - Ruth Kelly Doh!


Ruth Kelly believes that she is “doing the right thing” by putting her son through private schooling and it is not a bad decision.
Not from the perspective of a concerned mother who wants to provide the best opportunities for her child with special learning needs, but it is a stupid decision to make from the perspective of a former Education Minister who represents a government who have policies of integrating special educational needs in to main stream schools.

Which child doesn’t have special educational needs? And what exactly does that mean anyway?
The very nature of schooling or teaching is to help students to learn, to facilitate the student with a way of understand and acquiring knowledge on what ever the subject matter may be. The nature of the schooling may need to vary according to the learners needs but this does not, at any point, stop being schooling.
In which case, all learning, whatever the needs are, should take place in "school". One school, for all people, where education can be sort and gained, whatever the students learning requirements maybe.

The idea of integrating S.E.L needs in to mainstream schooling is a vital part of revolutionising the education system in to one that provides all schools with the ability to meet the learning needs of all its students, whatever they maybe.

The decision for Ruth Kelly to put her son thru private schooling did nothing to endorse or install confidence in the policy of integration, quite the opposite.
All she has managed to do is highlight the fact that local schools are under equipped and over subscribed with students with special learning needs, and that if you have money then you can buy your way out of this problem through private schooling.

Her decision was not very politically astute and nor was it very socially responsible either.
I have heard it said that her decision was probably more influenced by her relationships with opus dei , the hardcore recruiting branch of the Vatican, and that she probably didn't want her son mixing with all the unclean little heathen children at the local school but I certainly wouldn’t like to suggest that on this site.

Gardens and that...


I was asked “why do you like gardens anyway?”…

I said
“Because they’re full of care. Someone has toiled in the earth and cared for the life that exists in its grounds. A garden is a testament to what happens when you care for something, nourish it, provide the best possible environment for its growth and development and then stand back and let it go.
The plants do what they want to do and do it to the best of their ability.
It is true that some wild plants might need some training to enable them to grow in a more orderly fashion however some wild plants are just best left to do their thing and they too, will produce beautiful results.

Left to do their thing and find their way, needing only a little care and attention when conditions require it, most living things will do just as their will supposes them to.”

That’s why I like gardens.






























Sunday 7 January 2007

Clean your room! A book of two halves - a self help book that will change you life forever...or not

People are messy. The world is messy. Who's gonna clean it up and why should they bother anyway?
This is a book of two halves, and I would like to add some pictures to it so I can turn it in to a little book that you can flip round from back to front.... One side for those that do because they know they have to and of the benefits that doing can bring, and another side for those that quite frankly cant be bothered to do ...and they will happily to tell you why too!

It came about after trying to convince someone that if they sorted out their house then it might sort their head out a little too, make them feel a little happier if you like,because after all ....ones environment is a reflection of ones self, isn't it? and if not, at the very least ones environment cant help but have some influence on ones self purely through its effect on the senses, visually, orally, physically and emotionally thus stimulating ones consciousness.



anyway its a little long in places and could do with an edit but for now here it is in its full copy :
The 10 reasons why you should and shouldn't clean your room






Cleanliness is next to godliness: 10 reasons to clean your room

1 – Be Brave , Better your self

It is a brave person who grips the challenge of a task firmly in hand, and delves in to the darkest most cluttered and untouched corners of ones room.
It is a brave person, full of courage who faces this challenge head on, and who, whilst knowing the unpleasant energy consuming task before them, takes a deep breath and sets to it.

It is a saintly person who does this without complaint.

2- Be strong- never put off until tomorrow that which can be done today

It is hardest to take those first brave steps in to places that have been left untouched for too long. In places such as these there is often much to be done. there are corners filled with clutter with forgotten historys, hidden beneath piles of dust.
The task can seem huge. So Starting is half of the journey. It is often easier for a person faced with this challenge to say to ones self “ well…there’s always tomorrow”

3- One shall reap the rewards and discover new joys from ones toil.
Unearth that which is buried

Upon setting to the challenge of sorting though the collected piles of life’s acquisitions, one will soon discover that although at times it may seem like a fruitless task, there are many rewards to be gained from assessing and sorting that which you’ve picked up along your way though life.
Many of ones priceless jewels and gems stored for safe keeping are rediscovered and enjoyed. Joyous memories and forgotten past’s and path (and pant)s are found and remembered. past talents can be rediscovered and lived once more.

4- Organise your room and give your room focus. (Vision/Perspective)
Only when you have focus can you see clearly

When cleaning out your room one should try to organise the things that are disturbed as one goes about attacking its peaceful clutter.
As one does this, one can often go around in circles trying to place things where one thinks it fits, only to later discover that something else should fit in its place and that it actually belongs somewhere completely different, where one had never even conceived of it belonging to until now.

The more one organises ones room the easier it will become to see where things fit.
One will discover which things have value and what their value is to oneself as one tries to place them.
With focus and clarity one can see that which is important and that which is no longer needed for its purpose has been served.

5- Free ones self ones possessions. Know the value and worth of that which one possesses

when cleaning out ones room one would do well to see what things one has in their possession that they are holding on to , even though it no longer serves a purpose.
One can see that which is worthless from that which has value, that which is useful from that which has not or serves no purpose or could be more useful to somebody else.
Deal with each item accordingly for this too will bring its own rewards.

6- Free from useless clutter, one can enjoy the freedom of space.
When ones room is free from rubbish and junk, once the clutter has been organised with focus and purpose, one is able to use and enjoy the luxury of new found space. This provides one self with a great freedom.

7- To clean ones room is to give one self the opportunity for rebirth and to allow room for new discoveries.

When ones room has space and order, when one has evaluated that which surrounds oneself and let go of that which is no longer needed, when one has rediscovered lost dream and treasures, forgotten pasts and pants, one is able to know what ones needs, desires and pleasures truly are.
One can decide what to do with that which one owns. One can decide what new things one would like to fill their life with.

8- Clean your room or else!....... for an unclean will only attract that which is unclean.

If one chooses not to clean out ones room, that is their choice to make and so be it. However, one should be wary of this choice.
If one chooses not to clean out their room then it will become stagnant and foul. It will grow diseased and may very well cause great sickness.

9- Clean out your room before its to late.
“Do not live in misery for fear of being miserable” -Leonardo Da Vinci

Try to never let the task of cleaning ones room become an impossible challenge or burden.
If a room is left unused or untouched for to long before it is cleaned it will only attract more filth and clutter to it as time goes by. This can make the often mountainous journey, that one needs to uptake, appear to be an imposable and unthinkable one.
Many will choose to accept this state and remain in it rather than do the unthinkable and actually just “clean out ones room!”

This is a sad and miserable existence for any body to live in and can often lead to great unhappiness and misfortune.

10/ Clean Room , Clean Mind, Clean Heart

One should clean out ones room for the simple reason that there is no greater pleasure to be had, than to sit in the peace and quite of a clean space which is ones own.
Now you can choose what to do with it……..


Chaos is good
10 Reasons not to clean ones room


1- Life is short
with the life span of the average human being about 70/80 yrs one may decide that the amount of time that one spends keeping ones room clean is to large of a proportion of their life times expectancy, in which case one may decide to surrender the cleanliness of one’s living space so as to spend more time pursuing the pleasures of life which they seek.

2- empty room, empty mind

surround oneself with clutter as clutter is a muse for ones inspiration. Its all very well obtaining a minimalist environment if one is attempting to achieve an environment for inner thought and peaceful harmony with ones self and there environment , but this will not serve at all for the creative, expressionist exploration of the personality. One needs clutter or “things” to stimulate is minds thought processes. Michael Angelo, Raphael or Monet would of painted rather drab and boring paintings if all they had for inspiration were four white walls.

Cleanliness is sterile and provokes stupor. Beware of the overly clean.

3- Cleanliness is fascism

Hygiene is a bourgeois social construct that lends it self to rightwing of politics, and so by cleaning ones room and adhering to the social conformities of “clean” one is taking part and actively supporting the fascist, controlling overseer of ones own self. BE “unclean” , Be Free

4- Order in Chaos , Chaos in Order

Mess and disorganisation and in fact in themselves perfectly organised and orderly. Everything is as it is meant to be. Destruction breeds Rebirth, The chaos is in Order, There are no mistakes, Nothing is coincidence. It is o.k. to be rubbish, one can still be happy and feel secure in ones self. One can still function and work and live and be. The universe will work weather it is one is tidy or not.
It is not necessary for one to be tidy or clean to ensure that one achieves all that one will from life.

5- Dirt is good

Dirt and rotting matter are very good for ones self. Decomposition leads to new life, this is the cycle life. If one wishes to be clean, one must first get dirty. The important discovery of penicillin which has lead to the greatest cures for ones ails was found only because someone was unclean and didn’t clear away their old food.




6- You want it ? You got it.

In the room of some one who does not clean and is messy often have an abundant supply of everyday consumables or commodities at hand. This means that in the environment of a messy person one can often find to hand just what one needs, and sometimes, even without the searching though collections of stuff that is usually required. A small amount of scouting maybe required but it is worth the effort and less effort than having to acquire that which is desired from the shops or elsewhere. There is great pleasure to be had riffling though the rooms, sheds, garages where people have stored a life time of clutter, in no order other than that of universal chance, and seeing what lies in wait for one to discover. How sterile an experience and how unadventurous would it be if all these items were neatly labelled in an inventory and stored in some order based on chronology or use, or worse ,on market value!



7- Strengthen one’s self

The consumption of and the exposure to dirt and messy environments builds the immune system and helps to makes oneself stronger. A lack of exposure to such things creates fragile and weak people who are unable to deal with any dirt should they come across it. They are often very susceptible to illness and stress.

8 – Make ones space a fortress for ones self

By deliberately creating an environment that is dirty or messy but which suits ones own personal quirks and comforts, one can create a space that is intolerable by other people and therefore securing oneself from any unwanted company or disturbance from people wishing to invade on ones space. People will be unable to remain in such an environment and will therefore be forced , by their own will, to exit, leaving one to enjoy ones space.
Never again will the likes of yoga enthusiasts, new age nonsense practitioners, or uppity middle class bigots try to impose on ones space.

9- Why Bother? Let someone else do it.

It is a simple truth that if one does not clean ones space, it WILL be cleaned for them. Somebody WILL clean ones room if one does not attend to it. It maybe ones mother, or partner or carer, it maybe that ones space becomes so unclean and un tolerable that it is imposing on others and so the appropriate authority’s will deal one room. It WILL, at some point be cleaned for oneself.
WARNING—
However, this may not suit one very much at all and one may find that out of ones hands, ones room is no longer ones own and is no subject to outside forces who now have control over ones space, which is a powerful and influential hold.





10 – Fight the power

Cleaning has always been a tool of the socially constructed male power system to repress women. Cleaning is a semiotic sign of repression and therefore no one should clean their room. Women should not clean their rooms as an active form of feminist protest against male oppression and men should not clean in support of their sisters fight against repression.

No one should clean, one with all should live in squalor until the day comes that one drowns in ones own waste and one dies, so as to be reborn with a knowing of mess and dirt and all things unclean and of their place in the universal order of things , and with universal balance one shall exist neither clean nor dirty but just being perpetually messy and clean, messy and clean just as night follows day and day follows night, just as order is chaos and chaos is order.

Just as there are two sides to every story , there are two sides to everything



©Copyright S. Janssen (2007). Not to be reproduced, in whole or in part, without the permission of the author.

Cheeky basted! No more demos
























This photo was taken on a Mayday outing when the anti- capitalism demonstrations and the workers and unions demonstrations where in full swing, prior to the clamp down on such undemocratic activities.


I think the irony of the two camps both holding separate demonstrations against governmental policy, at the same time and in the same place,was lost on most people, but this cheeky basted looks like he's seen a few of these demo's in his day and is calmly waiting it out untill he can clock off.


In this age that we live in when democracy is championed as the highest form of civilisation, for which democratically elected governments are willing to commit men to war to preserve or install democratic order, it is strange to find the very core elements of the democratic structure, such as the freedom to protest, being forcibly denied to its subjects by the very same governments.


No more demonstrations = no more democracy


but then who says we're not all be a bit demo crazy anyway?

Amshderdam


Can the drummer get some ?












































































































































































First post


So the idea is that this will provide a forum for me to post photos, comments and opinion and anything else that i feel to.
To start somewhere, and that's often a good place to begin, here are a collection of photos that I have taken recently on a trip to Amsterdam. The medieval, historical and culturally rich city, home to artists like Van Gogh and Van Bastan and Gullit, but known all over the world for its killer skunk.
It was a lovely visit, the details of which i shall not bore you with, however i did stumble upon these fantastic young drummers who where doing their thing in the town center square and delighting the tourists with there energy and sound.
The routine was spectacular, the drumming tight,on point and funky but what really made it was the joy that the guys where having whilst playing. It shows in these photos and their enthusiasm shines through.

WELCOME







Welcome, hola, and thank you for stopping by this new and exciting webblog, the like of which has never been seen before....except on every other blog site ever written. So the format will be basic but the principle works and the content is going to be what defines this page.



Photos ....Comment....News....Reviews....and anything else that takes my fancie